by - February 19, 2021

Living with depression and a personality disorder isn't easy but there are things that can help you get out of the pit. No matter how much time it has passed since I was first diagnosed, sometimes it still feels like the first time, like I am the lost rookie all over again. Even today, Daniel told me about how hard it is to make plans with me because sometimes I just wanna stay in bed. Me, my tea, my unwashed hair and the last season of Outlander. And that's why he doesn't invite me on dates as often as he did. I get it, it isn't easy living with a person whose mood swings more than a hurricane and just wants to cry listening to Neil Young's "Harvest Moon". 

But I've been trying. Creating this blog is me trying. Being more active on Instagram makes me want to shower every day so I can at least take a couple of nice pictures. But is it enough? There are moments I feel all of this is irrelevant. Not just the blog but life, in general. Not wanting to go too deep on my first blog post about mental health but already doing it, well, life is indeed a b*tch and then you die. 

That's why, as a deeply depressed person that does understand how lack of motivation can be overwhelming, I wanted to share with you some doable things that can help you get out of that pit. A very cosy pit that many times involves you and your pillows.


Ok, this one might feel a bit off but I found out that waking up in the morning, preparing a nice cup of tea with a pinch of milk while watching the sun rise behind the buildings, is wholesome. It brings comfort and inner love. It is just you and the early birds and the sun, or sometimes rain, that feels just as good. With every sip of your warm tea, observe the world around you, inhale the freshness of the morning and let it be part of you, almost like a personality trait. Marisa, 31 years-old, drinks warm tea in the morning while enjoying the silence before the day ahead. 


We are not particularly going through the best phase to go wild and do whatever we want, at the time we want, wherever we want. But that's okay, there are still plenty of things we can do from home, I mean, the list of options is infinite. I always wanted to go to yoga classes but as soon as I got that on my head, most gyms closed. I got bummed out, I must admit but technology is a great thing, isn't it? From free apps that lead you through every step of the way to online classes, you name it. And it is incredible how it can apply to almost anything! I wanted to deepen my marketing knowledge and after a little investigation, I have found a great online course on Cultural Marketing. I have a teacher, I do assignments, I get graded and, more than anything, I have a purpose to take myself outta that "nothing matters mood" and actually spend some time doing what I like, enjoying new things I never thought I would. Just like these options, nowadays you can find everything online to do what you want. From courses, to sports, to arts and crafts... you name it. You love something? Don't give up on it, just don't, get out of the pit.


Another painfully basic one that we end up forgetting about way too many times. Therapists are our best friends. I mean, they aren't, not at all, and that's what makes them so great. Find a therapist that is always there for you and that you can easily access through a phone call, a message, a video call. I personally hate video calls (or calls but oh well) but sitting in front of a camera talking to someone on the other side can do all sorts of tricks. Don't keep inside of you what has been hurting you. Don't let the anger and sadness built. Don't leave it for another day. Don't throw all you feel in a negative way to your loved ones. Reach out, vent and you will see you will feel so much better. If like me, you are unemployed at the moment, you will understand how frustrating can it be to spend hours and hours at home, needing to speak out loud about all the things that have been eating your inside. Either your personal doctor or a certified therapist online, let them guide you. Sometimes we do persist on not seeing the whole picture of things.


If last year someone told me I would be stitching, I would laugh to their faces. Me? Hum hum, no way. But things change and people change and I surely did. I am still very green at it but I am rolling with the idea, passing the needle, creating patterns and bam! You forget about everything around you and all of your worries. The first time I started stitching, my mind was so into it, I spent hours and hours until I could't anymore because of my sore fingers. I would suggest you to get a starter pack, I got mine from Amazon for less that 12€ and it came with needles, thread and three different patterns so I could just follow along the instructions. I can tell you that when I am stitching, I do think about those things that mess with my head but in a more rational way. It's like the needle leads me through a more accurate train of though and, in the end, everything feels to make so much more sense. It's like therapy, yoga, meditation.


Yes, clean. Clean your home, your thoughts, your life. Declutter of everything that makes you feel uncomfortable, that has been laying around for way too long, that won't ever bring you any sort of pleasure. Scrub the oven, throw clothes to charity, unfollow that guy that was once part of your life but today only brings you pain. Mute people on Instagram. Give your hair a nice scrub with your favorite shampoo. Take away the trash and recicle. Anything you can think about and that you can get rid of, do it. Spend an entire day sorting your bedroom. Vacuum and light a candle. Grab your phone and delete those apps you no longer use, those messages you got you only keep as a sad memory, the photos that no longer belong in your current life, your higher self. Don't be afraid to let go. When we do it, it might hurt but it will only last a couple of minutes. Soon enough you will see you are over it all. 

See you soon,
Marisa Ferreira

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